‘The key to change… is to let go of fear.’    ~ Roseann Cash

I am a Gemini.  Gemini with Libra rising.  A combination I once read to be ‘mildly schizophrenic’.  I thrive on change.

Until the birth of my child, I could put everything I owned into the back of my car.

I have lived in 3 countries,  4 states, 15 cities, 25 homes, an Inuit hostel and a VW bus.

I attended 6 Universities (the same area of study!), and have already held enough jobs to have had three careers.

The fashion I enjoy, the food I crave, the position that turns me on, all change with my mood, and if the light changes, well, then…

My partner is a Capricorn.  He does not do change.

When we first met, he labeled me indecisive.  This I have issue with.  I do not waver or falter in my decisions.  But life is always new and in motion and the circumstances may have changed such that the previous choice is no longer valid.

(Just because he would always ride a black scooter… well, a black scooter does not fit all occasions.  There are times and places where an orange or pink or violet or… well, order mine with polka-dots!)

I have since decided that I am cloud-like…  Clouds can always be named:  Cirrus, Stratocumulus, Lenticularis, Kelvin-Helmholtz…  They could not be called indecisive, yet, they are constantly transforming, adjusting and adapting to the temperature, the wind, the sunlight…

Clouds are sensitive and evolving and mutable.  And so am I.

So imagine my shock to have seen myself traumatized by impending change!

It is true.  It has happened twice now.

There has been much less change in my life since the birth of my son (only 7 homes in the last 12 years) and it has sometimes been difficult to tame my wanderlust…

But I have learned to appreciate different joys in life.  Like stability and calm and contentment.

I now own things like beds and bookshelves and paintings and have come to view this phase of my life as both luxurious and serene.  It has allowed me time to discover myself and to know deep gratitude for the people in my life.

Yet, twice now, I have had my contentment threatened and agitated by outside forces.

… And there is the moment of my self-discovery.

Embracing change that I have initiated is one thing.  Being asked to celebrate change that I did not seek is quite another.

When life instigates revolution, I have found that I can be as rigid as the next person.

But concrete clouds would fall out of the sky.  And I am hoping for the grace to stay aloft for at least a little longer…